In life, we meet many people. We have different relationships with each of them. Many people are correct, and many others are not. Some people are aware of their honesty, and others are not.
In life, we meet many people. We have different relationships with each of them. Many people are correct, and many others are not. Some people are aware of their honesty, and others are not. In some cases, we interact with dishonest people, unaware of their internal mechanisms. While in other contests, we deal with corrupt people that are conscious of their malevolence. The first is unaware of the evil they inflict and the often sophisticated strategies. The latter carry out evil actions consciously and are aware of hurting someone. The same is true for honest people: some are honest and conscious, while others are unaware of their honesty.
There are many ways to not be fair in social relationships: lying, stealing, deceiving, cheating and not keeping promises. As much as many manners for being honest, telling the truth, being generous, transparent and keeping promises. These are generalizations that are non-detailed descriptions of human behaviour. They are not truths, but they help us understand the reasoning and observations I want to share in this case. In fact, only in the details do we discover how destructive or constructive strategies are manifested.
To better understand, let's take an example of a broken promise and an inadequate reaction between two friends. Mark and Alex are preparing a party for the next month.
Mark: I prepare the flyers.
Alex: Perfect, I organize the guest list.
Mark: After I prepare the flyers, you can start making a list.
Alex: OK! When will you deliver the flyers to me?
Mark: in a couple of days.
Alex: OK, I'll wait. Four days have passed.
Mark: Sorry, but I didn't make the flyers because the stationery was closed and I couldn't buy the printer paper.
Alex: OK. Four other days have passed.
Alex: Did you make the flyers?Mark: The stationery is still closed. We must learn to be patient.
Alex: This is the second time you are late. If you don't send me the flyers, I can't make a list.
Mark: How dare you criticize me? I totally disagree with your criticisms. I don't think I want to organize the party with you. I do it for free; it takes time to get things done. You are unable to wait; you never were.
Mark will continue to blame Alex for not being able to take responsibility for keeping the deal himself.
Many events similar to this occur in daily life. People have an agreement, and one fails to keep their promise or commitment. And then the person who does not honour the obligations, when he is pointed out that he has not respected the agreements, blames the one who showed him the delay. This relational dynamic is harmful and pathological. People progress and improve as they move toward their goals. Driving in the predetermined direction develops a positive attitude, while stillness leads to stagnation, grief and despair. To commit oneself means to sacrifice oneself. Moving towards the commitment has an implication - act with your body and your soul. Maintaining the obligations assumed with oneself and others is part of being a responsible adult. It is necessary to be seriously profound to transform and co-create reality.
When Alex points out that Mark broke his promise, instead of taking responsibility for not fulfilling his commitments, he blames Alex for making the remark; this attitude is convenient. Taking responsibility and showing one's flaws and vulnerabilities takes courage and enormous mental and emotional effort. Which for Mark, as for many people, is impossible.
Let us strive to keep commitments and learn which ones we can maintain and which ones we can't.